All this good karma around me is melting my evil heart. I have to, HAVE To become a better person soon.
First, 3 strangers helped take Picolo’s blood sample to Denmark. Now, I found a lawyer to make the legal affidavits I need to prove my single status. I don’t know this lawyer and have never met her, but she refused to accept a fee since I am a friend of her friend. She has been in constant touch with me to make sure all my details are correct. I don’t even know her full name yet. Why am I leaving this country filled with nice people?
Arjun Bobde, I am putting your name for eternity on the world wide web as a nice person. Arjun is the friend we have in common. I have known him for about a decade and he has been doing some intense long distance phone calling to get me a good lawyer in Bombay. Thank you! Now everyone will know what a soft heart you are behind the cut throat, tough man lawyer exterior you wear so well. Those that shook with fright when you walked into the court room will now look you in the eye and even smile at you. I may be doing you a disfavour, since you love your bad man reputation, but now the whole world knows that you are actually a soft hearted helpful person. But you are still butt ugly. Ha! ha! ha!
Denmark..are you listening? You have some high standards of friendship to meet !
Its gonna be hard to adjust to how private the Danes are after all this support you are getting from fellow Indians. I felt very confused for the first six months- I came from a warm, noisy family and a great set of friends and contacts- and suddenly found myself unable to even ask a question from a person in the street without them exhibiting suspicion and fear. Hang in there.
I am lucky that I still have some remnants of a warm noisy family here, we like to go around being ourselves and ignoring the Danes curl up in horror (“Why are they so outspoken? I know we said ‘free speech’ but this is going beyond the pale!”).
And God Bless the Danes, they mean well, and we are an onslaught to them with our effervescence and our exuberance and our inability to understand. If I were you, the first thing you need to do when you get here, if you want Danish friends, you have to join a ‘foreninger’ – it’s a group, and when you have joined and atttended a few board meetings and taken a vote on what cookies to eat at the next board meeting, and attended a few group activities, and it’s about three years down the line, then maybe someone will invite you to their house, for coffee. They will be very interested in how much better Denmark rates to your ‘own’country. They will perhaps want to adopt you.
Oh well, that is the worse case scenario. You may just find you hit it off with the natives here without having to join an activity group, but you won’t get anywhere if you don’t follow the social rules. You have to be able to speak a bit of Danish and be able to feign a real yearning to speak better Danish and to pepper any conversation with: “Oh I just wish I could be fully integrated and come into the jobs market and make a contribution!” I sound facetious but I am serious about this.
Do not ever say anything like : “I don’t need to learn Danish.” or “What is it with all the flags dude?” “Are you seriously telling me you expect me to eat that? You call it sauce?”
Thing about Danes is that you have to approach them carefully and with utmost respect for what they have been doing for years, and then don’t have great expectations. They are a lovely sentimental idealistic bunch at their most harmless and charming but if you pizz them off they will cut you off and freeze you out and there don’t appear to be second chances. Danes make their minds up about things, it’s one of their great strengths, but you know, you have to be aware of their ‘special’ way of being with eachother to be able to socialize with them.
Friends as YOU know it can probably only be found in the expat/international/foreign/refugee community. It’s worth knowing that before beating your head against a brick wall, and just settling down to learning how to make reasonable social contact and honest down to earth aquaintence with those entrenched in the Danish system.
Babs, way to put everyone off even trying to make Danish friends. Sounds like getting a PhD in molecular physics blindfolded and wearing manacles would be easier.
LOL. I knew I shouldn’t have made those comments about the flags in the sauce.
Hey Babs: Danes are more formal/ cold than Indians. We Indians love love overt displays of friendship and loyalty. Mine and the fiance’s Danish friends are quite easy going, laugh at themselves, dont get offended easily and even make sure to speak in English when I am around. So I am quite optimistic. It’s the other ‘thems’ I am scared of.
oh you’ll be fine though.
I d’n't meant to put people off! you know, it is nice to get to know the Danes, so it is kinda necessary to know how to. It seems like a lot to go through but it is the only way with the other ‘thems’.
Will Arjun Bobde be my friend too? I like him already:-)
And c’mon Babs:-) Surely, not? The husband comes from a large, noisy as hell Norwegian family that would def. give my Indian one a run for its money in terms of efferverscence and cackling.
June. You must find these people. Failing that, move to Norway and I can hog you:-)
I love hearing about good Karma. You’ve given me a warm fuzzy feeling like some is rubbing off this way.
Transitioning to a new culture always has it’s difficulties, but you’ve already got some of the natives on your side so I’m sure you’ll fit in like a charm.
I might be locating soon. I know it’s withing my own country but it still makes me nervous.
you will be fine june
I just found one more Danish girl friend from work and she’s really nice, lively and very social. Should I also mention that she’s half German? LOL
It seems that all my “Danish” friends are actually half of other thing but Danish, but who cares? Friends are friends, no matter what nationalities they are. That’s how I see it.
Will Arjun Bobde be my friend and knight in shining armour too? I’m struggling with craptacular visa issues in the UK and the only reason I want to stay in this cold grey hellhole anyway is because of my lovely man (who isn’t even British!).
You’ll be fine, I’m sure your effervescent personality will melt at least a few other stone-cold Danish hearts
wow. u r lucky.
reminds me of my lawyer in Canada who took on my appeal case after my visa got rejected. she is my mom in laws friend and did it for $ 500 for paperwork and mailing costs. the other immigration lawyers were asking for $ 10,000. can never thank her enough.
I think if nothing else, you’ll have a warm welcome from all the expats whose blogs you read and who read you. I swear, reading all of you is enough to make me wish I could move to Denmark, since it’s stolen my best friend and all.
Hey laura, that is such a swee thing to say. Thank you!
Damn, i have to tell her to charge u the moon
)) I just lost all my criminal clients hehehehehehehe…