It’s always the men! A friend tweeted. Why are Indian guys in the Denmark forum so annoying??? She is not the first one to ask me this question.
Me: Are they asking you “I have IT degree, can I get job pliss”
Her: No, they want to get to know me and are flirting with me. One guy wrote to her- You seem very lonely in Copenhagen. I have no idea how he came to that conclusion just from reading her typed words about residence permit regulations!
Now this friend is quite active on Internet forums for expats and takes time out to help strangers with information about jobs, permits, wages etc. I can visualise the Indian guy thinking, “Arrey wah! she is giving me so much bhao, answering all my questions, she must be interested in me.”
Blame it on Maine Pyaar Kiya, an Indian film which had the epic dialogue ‘ Ek ladka aur ek ladki kabhi dost nahin ho sakte’- A boy and a girl can never be just friends. Yeah, a wtf on many levels, but that is how few Indian men think. Especially men in IT! For the abbreviation challenged people, it means Information Technology.
Many people laugh at Indians. But frankly, few Indians make it very difficult for the majority of us to defend ourselves. And it is ALWAYS Indian men with IT degrees acting silly over the Internets, line maroing with lame ass lines they think are flirtatious.
Their questions are always template – Can I get an IT job in America, Denmark, Estonia? How much salary? How much rent? Can you help me get green-card? This will be followed by – You are verrry beautiful. You have boyfriend? You like Indian food?
Dude! you spent FOUR years studying information technology at IIT or wherever and you cant do a simple google search? You IT professionals from India, the greatest IT nation in the universe, please try google.com. Chances are you will find most general answers there.
Asking someone already residing in a country to verify information they got off the inter-webs, is understandable and the logical thing to do. But these IT degreed guys spam members with private messages with the VERY questions which have been answered time and again. Questions which have pages of detailed answers and live threads where one can discuss them.
I consider it laziness. They simply don’t care to do their own homework. Sample this email I got. Without as much as a Hello.
I sent a link to the Danish embassy in Delhi which has all the info. In bullet points- for easy comprehension. I was tempted to add a – Do I look like a consultant or an embassy official?
SAMPLE 2 at the ‘Foreigners in Denmark’ forum: An Indian writes in saying he wants to make DANISH friends. Members point out that its for foreigners. He writes back an angry rant saying. “Of course I know its for foreigners only. I am also writing to make friends with native Danish only.”
I sent him a private message ” Hey, foreigners does not mean only white firangis. YOU are a foreigner in Denmark. This forum is for people like us, so you wont find Danes here.”
Very generally speaking- when we say foreigner / firangi in India, we mean white people. The forum said it was for foreigners in Denmark, so he assumed it was a forum for Danish people who want to meet other nationals!
He writes back- Ok. Ok. Thank you. Do you know IT job? I have greencard.
You can follow me on twitter here No questions about IT jobs please. And really, its not nice to be like that ONLY.
This is precisely why our lot gets beaten up in Australia and beyond.
Kunal and his ilk, should be sent to Oz to work as part time taxi drivers… the locals might do us a favour and knock ‘em off. Wait, isn’t that how Oz was formed originally – as a British Penal Colony?
Sometimes, history Should repeat itself.
Thats very harsh Monty!They are annoying but not annoying enough to warrant violence.
I completely disagree.
I’m an IT guy myself. And believe me, I can vouch from experience with my kind that we merit violence.
Hey,
Been reading (and thoroughly enjoying) your blog for a while now. Decided to delurk (I must mourn my ex stalker status!) to say women are FAR worse sometimes when it comes to asking redundant questions in forums. During my student time in the UK, I was constantly bombarded by emails from random folk, who wouldn’t even apologise for forcing their way into my inbox (hmm, that sounds weird now I typed it out) , and would then go on to ask me what brand of shoes they should buy before coming to the UK.
Anyway, point being, I’m kinda inclined to agree with Monty up there. Oh and your blog has provided much entertainment, and also, you are vaaryy beatifulll. Can you get me greencard, or atleast make fraandship with me??
Hey shilpa! Welcome! Delurking is good for the soul! Shoe queries are more fashionable than frandship making with goris and NRI’s to pliss marry for greencard routine!!
Women ask me questions about where to buy red label chai or get eyebrow threading done. These to me are essential for survival!
I’ll agree with you about the eyebrow threading! The thing I hated most about living in firangland was that I couldnt get a pedicure unless I gave up eating for a month..
Coming back to the topic, cant believe you patiently answered all the queries. Thats some truckloads of good karma you’ve collected, missy!
Is there indeed a connection with them being IT graduates and the annoying traits? I have a friend from India back from the good old university days, he’s an Engineer and he never asks about greencard or say that I’m VARRY BEAUTIFULL. *shrugs shoulders* LOL
There is a very strong connection. I bet you a durian that if we take a poll of all Indians of FID 95% of them will be IT professionals! And your friend met you in real life. Indian men are very nice in real life LOL! On the internet they go a bit crazy.
It’s a worldwide universal trait of men in IT, I’m afraid.
Bad social skills and an IT degree almost always seem to go hand in hand at least for male graduates.
i think it professional are the best in the lot. atleast they have some chance of going abroad instead of hitting on poor unsuspecting foreigners like the non-IT crowd back home. you are blaming IT crowd only because you are seeing that part of the story.
the fact of the matter is that, Indian guys or even girls are pathetic at flirting. they do not know how to read the cues, when to approach, what is appropriate and what is a social disaster. some of them act like sales guy only doing a numbers business. if i approach 10 women everyday and even if one of them says yes, then i am done!
besides, some indians act like cockroaches. they will get into the harshest of all terrians and still survive just because they will live in any country as long as its not india. thank yourself that you are in denmark. in US, these creatures also double up as Amway sales man and talk to you like they have known you donkey years and try and make a quick buck off you!
only if all indians had dignity!
Hey, my post only about IT men on the internet and not meant to be taken as a factual generalisation about all Indian men! How does ‘having a better chance to go abroad’ make IT professionals better than the rest? The ‘cockroaches’ you mention in America- I am sure the capitalist country will be very happy to have persistent salesmen with survival instincts!
Mr. IT Professional, You meant dignity …..like fighting with the weak like the kinds of Afganistan or Iraq ? Talk about something you really know. You are such a paranoia..may be you are fired from your work and an Indian took your place.
ha…so true. Although I have seen this with non-IT Indian guys too. I think they just want to be friendly but they just don’t know how.
I sometimes get comments like ‘Wow, nice review…Soooo what do you do? I’m from India too’ on my book reviews. Mind you it’s their first comment ever.
I think we need to have some compulsory conversation classes in all our colleges.
True. I think we invented LOLCAT speak. “Oh hai, so bootiful, where u r frm?”
Cut ‘em some slack….they are just trying to be nice…..
First of all, I am glad to a mech engineer and not in IT
According to me, the reason why Indians are so socially awkward is that from childhood there is very little interaction with the opposite sex. Many friends of mine have studied at unisex schools. The parents and society is also of the opinion that any interaction with the opp. sex is not in the best interests for anyone. The only places many school guys gets to see girls are the coaching classes, TV and porn!! This is during school life.
Enter a engineering college, where the sex ratio is so skewed. My class had 60 students, two of them being girls!! In all engineering universities the sex ratio is so bad and in the top 30 colleges it is like that of my class!! So again if you are not the George Clooney/ SRK of your class, you hardly get to interact with girls on a personal level.
Then all these guys are thrown into a place where there are a lot of girls around. Its a totally different habitat for an engineering student. He tries different strategies to cope. He spams, creeps, uses cheesy lines or well goes into depression over him being alone with girls all around. He sings water water everywhere but not a drop to drink!
Anyways this comment is not to justify any of these morons. It just that, well! see this is the reason! As for the solution,
1. I guess all unisex schools should be abolished.
2. Universities should be modeled along the lines of American ones with many schools instead of just an engineering school.
3. Complete overhaul of the Indian society that is thinking its bad for the youth to interact with the opp sex.
4. Stop arranged marriages. Then everyone will learn how to be charming
Yes, I guess lack of social interaction makes them awkward in dealing with especially girls. But in real life most Indian men are polite, very chivalrous. Some nuts seem to come off loose when they press the log in button.
Dude….there are hundreds of Mechanical Engineering working in IT….It is about the individual not about the profession or nationality.
bless you, Indian men can really be a pain to deal with over the Internet. Though the retarded IM-speak annoys me almost as much as the actual content of the accustomed messages, e.g.
“Hi, I want 2 apply 2 ____. can u tll me how 2 get in?”
( to which the reply is, fuck off- never. My college is foul enough without types like these- who are, by the way, MUCH worse to deal with in real life)
I should make a ‘what not to say/ do ‘ guide to the internet- banning text language will top the list.
I have to say I have been so annoyed that I start ignoring them.
It seems like the more info you give, the more these guys ask.
And I would definitely NOT recommend them to any job vacancies I know. Not just that they cannot google after the paper chase. They have poor communication skills, bad english, no tact and obviously lacking initiative to read what has been published umpteen times already.
You sound like you have sufferred.
you are probably very right about MOST IT guys from india … but plzz dont sterotype all of US … yeah i am the major culprit according to U ….. yes i am btech in IT ….and even an IITian and plzz belive me we dont have problem with jobs … An IIT guy wont ever talk like that … the way u have mentioned …. i can asure u abt that .
plzzz don’t club us in one bucket and we know googling is really simple , it doesn’t mean that , if ” kunal” cannot do it ….others are also same .
Government teachers can also be equally as irritating it seems. Here’s the latest from my inbox….
“i ravindra maurya is a government teacher.my education is M.A.(Hindi) &B.Ed. i find 40,000 Rs./month.i am 5’8″/68kg./33 years old/non smoker-nondrinker/un married person.I WANTS A CACUSION LIFE PARTNER WHO WANTS TO MARRIAGE WITH ME.(DIVORCED/WIDOW/WITH CHILDREN OR WITHOUT CHILDREN/ WHO WANTS SECOND MARRIAGE/UNMARRIED PERSON ANY)”
Somehow, I don’t like this guy’s chances at all….
I wonder if you are CACUSION enough for him. I zink he either wants to marry you or wants you to p*mp him!
Oh boy that was hilarious!
I remember an incident from my days in college in America where a newly arrived Indian student of computer science said on stage in his introduction that he didn’t like the fact that there were so many foreigners in the US. And by foreigners he meant Americans. Half of the audience was white Americans and they were like WTF? Haha!
Abdu
allright I am an IT professional and a woman…and I can not agree more with you..I wont say all of them but a huge majority are the kind you describe..
They are the guys who move in groups, hold hands, ogle at women and talk loudly …. Not all again but enough to give a bad name..
And what is with their herd mentality..y on earth wont this man walk alone -confidently!!!!
hahahaha rofl
that was funny i have to agree with kumar.
)(actually indian parents quickly assume that if their son talks to girls it will eventually lead to sex which is a bad assumption)
Lack of interaction with the opposite sex is the main cause for Indian men to be complete losers when it comes to starting a conversation with girls(not all though i’ve a few friends who certainly dont fit here). Granted that they have the skill to become almost anything ranging from a shopkeeper to a scientist but usually have little or no skill when it comes to talking to women(i’d say irony LOL).
Sexual Repression is the major cause for most indian males to be over-friendly with women whether foreign or indian coz they think in their mind that they might be able to score quickly if they act too overfriendly(the exact opposite attracts women)
@kumar: The major reason parents think that both the sexes shouldn’t interact maybe the belief in arranged marriage(he/she is to be married off anyway so why should he interact now LOL hilarious
second reason might be the fear that if left alone they will do something stupid (you knw what i mean
third reason might be the domineering control of parents which is the hardest to break.
well even i studied at an all-boys school however since being an Anglo-Indian established school dating back to the British Raj the kind of students that came here had much more respect for girls and actually were way more interested in having a GF and girls as friends(many of them did have, school life isnt the only social life their neighbourhood social life is there as well)
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I LOVE your blog. There is no heavy handed politicking/religiousity/hardKore Desi agenda/vapid “i’m a browngirl secretly dating goras until my parents marry me off” BS here….just a normal Desi living a life.
Do you have any idea how refreshing that is!?!??!
Hey….
Very interesting blog !! Nice articles. Some of them worth reading a couple of times.
Have liked them all…….untill I reached this article….
Agree with you on the below point…..
- Many people laugh at Indians. But frankly, few Indians make it
-very difficult for the majority of us to defend ourselves.
But remeber…many people laugh about us (Indians) not only because of men…surprisingly due to some women aswell…..
But the one below is definately not true…..
-And it is ALWAYS Indian men with IT degrees acting silly over the
-Internets, line maroing with lame ass lines they think are flirtatious.
Am not really sure how much interaction you have had with these kinds over the internet or why you dislike the people (men) in IT……but generalisation of one stupid’s stupidity on all isn’t correct. Is it ? You have had a career in Media and probably you would know better about people and profession. It is the individual’s stupidity to behave in a such a way but not the profession’s mistake.
The founder of Infosys – An IT Indian guy.
The Chairman of TCS – An IT Indian Guy,
The Co-founder of USB Drive – An IT Indian Guy.
These are just a few….and I am sure you are proud of them.
And now, it is not just the so called “Indian men” who act so foolish. I have seen many other nationalities doing the same. Also note that they not only behave in such a way over the internet but in person as well….
As I said above, it not the profession or Nationality that should be blamed instead blame that indivdual if you can (be it an Indian or a Dane or an American).
If you want to help people over the internet, then help. Pls dont bitch about it ….
Finally….
Nice blogs though !!
P.S ; @ Ritu : I dont know which technology you are working on…but you might want to consider changing it. Not every person who uses a computer at work is an IT professional.
Best Regards, IT Degree.
Ooh! We have a touchy person with an IT degree. I am only talking from my experiences on the Expats in Denmark forum and I have clearly mentioned that. It is not meant to be an factual generalisation on ALL indian men with IT degrees, just a majority of them one often sees on forums.
Hey…I am an IT person working in Denmark for the past 3 1/2 years. I live in Frederiksberg. For your information the IT people from India working in Denmark are not more than 300. I know most of them if not all. They are all decent people with good “internet behaviour” if thats what you imply. You might have come accross one or two idiots and made your mind based on that. I am just trying to change that. I know it will not be easy…but worth a try….
BTW…I have a Masters Degree from IIT Kharagpur in CSC ……