“We wake up early with the rise of our cocks”, peoples of Denmark, you also talk like there is an orgy of marbles going on inside your mouth, deep throating and choking you. Danish people sound funny when they speak in English, so it is rather amusing when the make fun of mine.
The Fiance was on the phone with me and I heard background voices. Those voices laughed and said, ” He talks like June!!”. I errm sound like most Indians do. So, after 4.5 years of talking to me everyday, it is not surprising that he almost tilts towards an Indian accent.
Ze frenz zey talks like-a zees and you say oooh! enchante. You rap along with the Jamaicans. I say hello and you laugh at me. People all over the world laugh at the Indian accent. Damn you Apu Nahasapeemapetilon! And Russel Peters you too! Who decided which accent is exotic or funny?
In a new country, the first reaction I get is “oh! you don’t look Indian” followed by, “You don’t sound very Indian.” I have to then explain to them politely that my accent is VERY Indian; that most urbans Indians dont sound like Apu from Simpsons.
My Danish friends accuse me of confusing my P’s, B’s and T’s. Its no use arguing with them. All I do is politely point out when the write prober for proper, robber for rubber – then I do the victory dance and scream YOU STUPID!
Now to reduce any chances of getting that Danish resident visa and for your general entertainment, I present some Danglish English gems.
We wake up early with the rise of our cocks. ( A Danish politician who meant to say Danes wake up early)
I am in the beginning of my period. (Marianne Jelved, politician)
We wanted to play with long balls. ( Some Danish football player)
Screw down your expectations. (Richard Møller Nielsen, ex-coach of national football team)
The prick over the I. (Jytte Hilden, Danish lady politician)
The British brought English to India more than 100 years ago, Indians have since then adopted the language and given it all kinds of colloquial twists. It should no longer even be compared to ‘real’ English, it is a language of and in its own.
But I still enjoy jokes, so comments are open for jokes about Indians. Expat bloggers from Denmark, please give more examples of Danglishsms.
“I will learn you how to make this” rather than “I will teach you”.
“Are you fresh?” when they were actually asking “are you up to it?”
it makes me feel like a fish.
“Are you fit for fight?” is well-known to Danes as a saying that all English speakers will know. But only Brits and Aussies will know it (okay, maybe a Kiwi). The first time I heard it I was completely and utterly confused. It means, “are you feeling better” or “are you okay” or something. I’m still not entirely sure, because it is a completely foreign saying to Americans.
Also, be on the look out for “Give me the informations.” Moneys, mices, basically the addition of “s” to any plural noun and “pearls” instead of beads, causing much confusion as to what sort of necklace someone was wearing.
“It should no longer even be compared to ‘real’ English, it is a language of and in its own.” What we linguophiles call a dialect, just a British English and American English are dialects of the English language. There can of course also be found dialects within dialects.
It is also quite true that the majority of my fellow countrymen do not speak english as well as they themselves believe. Having read english language litterature since my early teens and (mis)spent years of my early adulthood living in London, I have been affected the opposite way, having several anglicisms in my Danish, leaving me speaking what can be categorized as an ideolect. I still suck at spelling and punctuation though.
Oh Rune, why make me wiki so early in the morning!
If you don’t mind a Danglishsms from a Dane (well, an Asian/Danish mutt to be correct), here’s one from my assistent teacher at university: “Please don’t screw anything on the table until I tell you to”.
And hi! Stumbled over your blog a few days ago and have had a hoot reading it.
Hey May! I am getting visions of students taking of their clothes when the teacher tells them to screw on the table. Note to myself : Must wash dirty mind.